GAME #20: PHI v. Scottie Upshall
November 21, 2009

Upshall signing his stick for me at MSG earlier this year.

I’m going to be honest. I was one of those people that was ridiculously pissed after Scottie Upshall and a 2011 second round draft pick were traded to Phoenix last year for…Dan Carcillo. It’s not that the Flyers lost a phenomenal hockey player in Upshall, but a (female) fan favorite and some salary. I still hold it against Carcillo and don’t really like him. Sorry. Deal with it. Obviously, it’s not his fault and he’s a victim of circumstances, but that’s too bad because he’s ugly and apparently allergic to shaving his upper lip on a daily basis. One of the major storylines for the Philadelphia media tonight is sure to be Upshall playing against his former team. Yay. Not current Flyer Dan Carcillo’s return to the dessert. Sorry. No one cares. I’m going to make absolutely sure that I’ll be there when Upshall makes his Coyotes debut at the Wach next year.

Let’s take a look at both guys’ preformances since the trade last March, keeping in mind that Upshall has gotten much more time on ice than Carcillo since switching teams:

Upshall: 29 Games Played. 15 Goals. 6 Assists. 21 Points. +4. 50 PIM. 2 Game Winners.
Carcillo: 29 Games Played. 2 Goals. 5 Assists. 7 Points. +1. 124 PIM. 0 Game Winners.

Um, yeah.

So this is what I’m purposing.
I have e-mailed Kevin Kurz, Paul Holmgren, and Ed Snider.
After the game tonight, the Flyers casually inform Dan Carcillo he has been traded and shove him back into Phoenix’s home locker room and lock the door. Take Scottie Upshall on the plane with them to Colorado and rent that apartment for him in Center City. Forever. Let Phoenix keep the draft pick, they’ll need it when they get relocated. Upshall will just use Carcillo’s sweater and vice versa. The NHL never even has to know! Bam, everyone’s happy and the Flyers got that much more good looking. That sounds completely fool-proof, right? Don’t mess it up, Flyers!